Unringing the Dead Ringer

There are a few aspects of movies that I can't stand. One is the oversimplified science. When I type madly at a keyboard and say "the flux diode must have had a conjuncture with a polarized radical ion inciting temporal fusion across the dimensional plane" the only thing that happens is someone within earshot yells "shut up". The fact I'm mocking that person at the time may have something to do with it.

Another is the mono-dimensional character. Every evil person I've met had redeeming qualities: Takes care of their Mom, puts out the garbage, likes kittens (for lunch as well as a tasty afternoon snack).

The last is the "bad guy" who is foiled by kids. Really, where on earth do writers get this Contained biothermal derivative subsisting of fused photosynthesized and motive celluar matter?

At my house or one just like mine apparently.

My wife is at the losing end of the battle to have us (the two small humans who look like me and me) be less competitive. The children behave that way to establish their position in their subculture (aka the family) which is a waste of time because I won't like them more if they win or not. I care if they pick up their toys and bring me my slippers.

I on the other hand am competitive to keep my wife's attention and beat the living daylights out of the NPC characters in Mario Kart. You know how some computer games reportedly cause seizures? Well that one causes road rage. I have said some VERY bad things at Peach when she wins a race.

The other night we were having a game as a family and my older daughter pointed at the younger one, appropriately enough to point out she was winning impaired. My wife used her gift of parenting and told the child "remember, when you point a finger at someone, four more point back at you."

My response would be "the thumb isn't a finger". My child on the other hand (pun intended) proceeded to point all fingers at her sister, with the index standing apart. She smiled triumphantly at my wife who to her credit did not smite me for giggling.

I'm afraid that the children know they can outsmart us and we will continue to fail to foil the plans for later bedtimes, midnight snacks and half done chores. I'm not worried though, I may not be able to unring that bell, but I'm sure I can be the louder ding-dong. I am competitive after all.