I'm sure I wasn't bipolar BEFORE I had kids.

Father's day todo list.

1. Wake up 10 minutes too late and find that the 4 year old attempted to soak up the fish's water with fish food - Check

2. Perform emergency bowl transfer, cleaning, refilling, and returning of fish to original bowl - Check

3. Wear a paper tie that my daughter made, then forget to take it off when shopping at Wal-Mart - Check

4. Get drive through McDonalds for the family, only to arrive home and find out that one little darling changes her mind while I was out - Check

5. Get tired of children watching me play "Civilization" and hand the game over to the 7 year old, who actually does well at the game - Check

6. Purchase foam swords to fight the children with instead of pvc pipe, broom and wooden decorative katana - Check

7. Draw stares from strangers as I stab and parry with my 4 year old in Zellers before arriving at the checkout - Check

8. Have outdoor battle - Check

9. Overreact to 4 year old drawing on the IKEA coffee table we inexplicably drove halfway across the country last summer - Check

10. Stoke 4 year old on sugar high with "Fuzzy Peaches" and "Passion Flakes" - Check

11. Get frustrated with children hogging popcorn during movie and get them their own bowl to fight over - Check

12. Underreact to 4 year old drawing on her bedroom wall - Check

13. Defer going to sushi restaurant because older daughter still has the pox making her look like a looser in paintball - Check

14. Double over in laughter when older daughter responds to "We can only read a portion of this book." with "That's ok, I read portions all the time. I read a portion of this book over here, my teacher only reads portions, I like to read portions." - Check

15. Say prayers with children - Check

16. Tuck children in once - Check

17. Tuck children in second time - Check

18. Let wife tuck children in third time - Check

So there you have it. I have covered all of the areas of the checklist I'm going to let YOU see. Happy Father's day Dad. Don't worry, you won't have to tuck me in, but I'll be getting into the Scotch you left here.