Testing the waters with a live cable.

Do you remember the day you figured your parents out? Mine was the day I hid behind a corner and frightened my Mother after she came home from work. I figured out she has a different sense of humour from my Dad and it was in my best interest to remember that.

My younger daughter is a decade ahead of me. She has her mother figured out.

About a week ago we were sitting at the dinner table. That's a loose term, where 3 of us sat and one of us reacted like opposing poles to the chair. No that wasn't a slur against Polish furniture.

My younger daughter was making faces, imitating bodily functions and doing her best exorcist impression. My wife attempted to discipline her and the child-demon replied:

"It's ok because Daddy thinks it's funny." Then she shot me a look that dared me to giggle.

I did my best impression of a mild panic attack but she saw through it. My dear wife had a hard time disciplining her through her own laughter.

Then last weekend she pushed even more. She broke two cardinal household rules:
1. No markers outside of the craft area
2. No colouring on the coffee table.

Yes, now we have purple permanent marker on THE coffee table. THE coffee table we bought in Vancouver from IKEA and trekked thousands of kilometers home.

In her defense she made a nice craft for her Mommy. While my wife was crying I took the opportunity to sit the child down and read the parenting book I've supposed to have read by now.

Unsatisfied that her mother didn't kill her yet she pushed harder. I came home last week to a house of screaming. If I were a bachelor I would think it were the house trying to evict me supernaturally by replaying children murdering their parents. It was my younger daughter yelling at my wife. I stopped and listened to them battle wills until I heard this:

"Mommy, you're a poopyhead!"

Being a brave, smart man I hid until the discipline was finished and I had stopped crying from laughter.

I think she found her limit. I know she's more fearless than me because I would NEVER call my wife 'poophead'.

I would worry that she will test me too, but I doubt she has that much respect for my authority.