"I am lame"

Children don't make you proud, they simply reveal your overwhelming insecurities and evoke a reciprocal coping mechanism.

Before I had kids I made few efforts to change other people into copies of me. I've discovered that you can't change other people, unless you work in a hospital and then it's an ucky job.

I have tried to adjust the likes/dislikes category of my wife. I was subtle by buying her books with positive, motivating messages that I thought she needed to hear but would punch me out for saying. Suffice to say that the gifts she gives me are a LOT better now that I've stopped that.

With your children it is another matter entirely. You DO make them into who they are going to be. And as their little brains develop they reject your weird reality and take off with their friends.

Until those difficult years (which will not affect my offspring because I am in denial) I am ruthlessly vicariously living through their enjoyment of fine arts. Which means I watch Star Wars with them.

Over the holidays we were able to enjoy some good old traditional tv-show marathons. The first one was "Top Gear". If you are not one of the billion people who watch this show (literal, not exaggerated number) it is a British driving program with dry humour and brilliant videography and directing.

I selfishly put the program on and enjoyed show after show. My wife joined in because for some peculiar reason she also likes the show. I think it might be Richard Hammond, but back to my state of denial.

My kids both began to watch. They enjoyed it enough not to whine about Scooby-Doo being on another channel. The only show the one did nag about was: MYTHBUSTERS! And it turns out there was a 4 hour marathon of that program next.

Yes, my older daughter LOVES Mythbusters. So do I. Science. Explosions. It's chemistry class without all the math. And sprinkler systems.

It didn't occur to me that this might have a problem until after the kids were in bed. A news program had a person being censored, repeatedly. During this we heard the unmistakable footfall of a child thinking they were sneaky enough to come downstairs to watch TV after bedtime.

Me: "What are you doing down here honey?"
Her: "I thought you were watching Mythbusters without me."

Instead of inspiring my children to love awesome shows for the intellectual, artistic merit and cool factor that their Dad enjoys them, I have instead fostered a Pavlovian response that will eventually lead them to watching Jerry Springer and listening to Rap music.

My advice to parents is this: You are lame. Repeat that until it no longer hurts. And enjoy the time where your children are oblivious to the fact and will still watch TV and movies with you.