Of Fortune Cookies and Preemptive Strikes

This past week we had a furnace failure. When the heat doesn't work in the winter my wife becomes quite industrious. She commandeers all the blankets on the bed to conserve warmth.

As a technician I love to watch other technicians work. Part of it is intellectual curiosity to see the inner workings of someone elses job. The exception to that was when my wife had c-sections with our children. Ignorace == bliss.

The other reason I watch is so I get my turn annoying someone to distraction by hanging around them while they work. I'm polite enough not to say "My furnace doesn't like me" or "I'm just not good with central heating." That would be silly.

He finished the job in 5 minutes. A bit of steel wool and rubbing and the fire just lit up right away. I gladly paid him his money and then bragged about it on facebook.

I'm hoping the previous paragraph gets taken out of context. He He.

Anyway, I did not complain that the job was done quickly. I understand that for him it takes 5 minutes it would take me all day, and I would endanger my household, void a warranty and probably dent the wall in frustration.

In my job I also "just know" how to fix something. Then I get blamed for that knowledge. Yesterday I fixed two devices simply by being in proximity to them.

The client asked (foolishly) "What did you do?"
Me: "I just talked to you and it worked."
Them: "Why wouldn't it work for me."
Me: "Did you try talking to the device sternly?"

As I progress in my profession I become better at fixing things this way. I have now taken to printing lists of commonly asked questions and handing out laminated copies.

Them: "What is the new website address?"
Me: "Look in your pocket."
Them: "Oh, hey, it's on this card."

Them: "Hey do you have the number for..."
Me: "Turn to your right, grab a card, go and read it."

The line between co-dependency and efficiency is kind of blurry. I like to see it as a cross between a fortune cookie and a preemptive strike. I'm not worried, yet. If I start to incorporate "Don't call an ex after you've been drinking." please stop me.