All Hallows Even Dress Up

Last week we celebrated Halloween. We conducted the annual ceremonies including:

- Ritual disembowelment and mutilation of a gourd-like squash.
- Poisoning the local populace with unhealthy amounts of sucrose.
- Presuming alternate appearances to mislead others in regards to our identity.

I put off picking a costume until Wednesday last week. I was discussing my lack of a disguise with a co-worker and I loved the idea of every costume suggestion until I considered my locks. It will be some year in the future that I'll be Buster Bluth.

The problem comes for me in that I have a fine mane of hair. I'm a man in my 30's with a full scalp of follicles. And that visible, dead protein filament is a source of some pride. And warmth.

Realizing that I had few options left I began to muse on people who were famous with my hair:

Fabio
Michael Landon
MacGyver

And there was my winner. I thought it was cool that I MacGyver'd my costume by wearing a leather jacket and carrying around a plastic bag of miscellany.

Now it is time to divulge my ignorance (in this area). I have NEVER watched a MacGyver episode. All I know of him is what I saw on YouTube and whatever Marge Simpson's sisters said about him. To be honest I thought the female obsession with him ended there.

To quote Obi Wan Kenobi: "I was wrong."

I wore the costume to work. People asked what I was. I told the witty "MacGyver'd my own costume" story. Then, if they were female, they confessed their infatuation with the character. To me.

Awkward.

Really, what do you do with that? In my case it amounts to weird pauses and unsuccessful attempts at changing the subject. Clearly they are NOT obsessed with me, but I just managed to dress up as one of their forgotten desires from the 90's. Dang dude, not cool. Not cool at all.

If you are ever caught in that situation, don't try to guess their costume, al la:

Me: "Yeah, MacGyver... so... did you dress up as a participant in 'What not to wear?'"
Them: "Jerk."

I'm thinking Fabio would have been a safer bet. Maybe I'll get a goose mask for next year.