I love you just enough to do this...

I loathe the "Compare Yourself" application in Facebook. I am insecure enough without knowing that I am being ranked against friends by other (possibly former) friends.

Assessing ourselves by others opinions is human habit. That is probably the top reason why polygamous relationships and regular use of concubines faded. What man can endure knowing women are comparing his 'attributes' as their pastime. And nothing kills the mood like "you can get Jenny to do that for you, since you think her muffins taste better." Oi. And don't even consider trying to keep MULTIPLE in-laws happy.

With children it is different. It is almost unavoidable. I can see the benefit of having one child just to avoid the comparisons. Since that isn't an option for me, and knowing sibling rivalry will be an issue I take the initiative. Allow me to illustrate:

"Thanks for getting my slippers when I asked. I like you the best now."

"You dropped your ice cream cone on the new deck! I now can not love you anymore. Where is the other child that I actually care for."

Either I'm making them crave for my whimsical preference so that they will obey right away and never upset me, or I'm deadening them to manipulation. I take comfort now that friends in the schoolyard can say "I'm not your friend anymore" and my kids will just laugh at them.

I know they are scarred against the emotionally turbulent because their favourite toys outrank me. Last week my younger daughter 'mended' her Sunny.

Let me introduce you to Sunny. Sunny is a Lamaze toy who is beloved. My littler girl will suck her thumb (another subject), rub her nose, and hold this toy to her face. It is a dirty, worn out, discoloured toy from years of happy cuddling. All appendages have been reattached lovingly by me with my superior sewing skill.

We have 2 clones of Sunny. There is "Sunny More", because that one is loved more. "Sunny Other" which is the younger daughters backup. And there is "Sister's Sunny", which is a last resort.

My sleep is more important than buying duplicates of favourite toys.

So Sunny was sick. 'She' had the "sicky flu, chicken pox, fever and a runny nose". To help this poor toy cope the little darling had attached a glow-in-the-dark bracelet to it as an 'Oxygen tube'.

It was sweet and cute. Until I realized that this is the same child whose main way of relating to her father is punching me. She'll say "I have something for you, lean in close" and then hit me as hard as she can. Waking up in the morning to a little fist of fury right to the face, or worse, is a day starter. I have found I CAN elevate my body if immediate and violent pressure is applied to the right place. And leaning in for a goodnight shot on the kisser is fun too (she does this while cuddling Sunny in the other arm).

If I didn't love my sleep (and daughter) so much I would show Sunny who is boss. But I guess I'll have to settle for 3rd to 6th best, depending on how the cat and fish are ranking on any given day. THEY don't get hit.