I hate all music but the stuff I like

There was a great music service, Pandora, which allowed you to sample music based on the components of other music you liked. It only helped me find one song I actually liked, but it is a really neat idea. Then they turned it off for international use because of the Recording Industry.

So I will use that method to describe music I hate, and the exceptions thereof.

1. There are no good uses for harp, except as a projectile that has a really cool Doppler effect.

2. I don't care who you are, no one can make the steel guitar sound good. Unless you're playing it with the business end of a shotgun.

3. Banjo is heaven. An all harp and steel guitar ensemble can be redeemed by one banjo.

4. The recorder is 2 degrees away from being declared illegal by the Geneva humanitarian council on torture prevention. "Burn them!" I have been tempted with lining them with Asbestos to prevent children from playing them.

5. If it needs to be played slow, it should stop. Slow tempo is fast on the road to total trash.

6. Folk music should be played for other folks.

7. The time between 1949 and 1969 is known as the black hole of music.

8. Indie == crapie.

9. Pop == poop.

10. Rap is just missing a C.

11. Anything I like that contradicts any of the above rules weighs in my favour.

So there you go. I'm the Archie Bunker of music, but at least I know what I like. And generally it's not what you like, so suck it up.