Sad Shopping

Shopping. It has differing effects on people. Some use it as an escape, or a euphoric experience. Others see it as a challenge, planning it in ways that would teach swat teams how to co-ordinate on an objective.

I get sad.

I don't know why. Maybe it's the people. Or the lights. Or the miles of food I can't possibly eat. Nonetheless, I tend to find myself lost (amazing seeing as the aisles normally are parallel), aimlessly wandering trying to decide if fruit cups are with the tinned fish, fruit juice, fresh produce, or feminine products section.

I like to bring my pda full of music along and listen to sad songs. Tonight I couldn't do that as I had no earphones. I was stuck with a grocery store's choice in music. And that was worse.

I normally feel the distant, numbing melancholy of existential confusion brought on by the choice of light Miracle Whip versus fat reduced Miracle Whip. Tonight I was listening to the band Simple Plan whine about how awful their lives are and I realized there is good melancholy, and bad melancholy.

Good melancholy is like a good sneeze. It clears out the junk, no one wants to be around you when it happens, and in a twisted way that is hard to describe, it's a great feeling. Not that you would do lines of pepper to get the feeling, but at the right time, in the right place, WOW!

Bad melancholy, like Simple Plan's narcissistic bemoaning, is like picking your nose and eating it. It's just gross, most people outgrow it before their first pimple, and only the already socially inbred would consider it a good experience.

How do you feel when you're shopping?