Petting

I like having pets. I'm not talking about my kids, I really do like having little dependent creatures around my house.

There is something more complete to my home when an animal is making ambient noise, be it shredding the couch or falling off the counter or yelling for me to feed it or clean it's litter. Maybe it's the feeling that my kids can grow up, but I'll always have the worst part of their toddlerhood here.

I grew up having a cat and a dog at home. It was nice, except in the winter when the clueless cat would sit on the gas stove to keep warm. Singed hair is NOT a pleasant aroma to wake one's family up to.

In my college years I inherited a cat from a roomate. The cat is pitch black and named "Neko", which is Japanese for "Cat". I'm still yet to convince my father after 10 years that it's pronouced "Nay-kho", not "Knee-ka", "Keno" or "Nah-kho".

It was a cute addition to 4 bachelors living in a Church basement. (I always found it odd paying rent to live in the basement of "The FREE Church of Scotland".) The cat found lots of attention, expecailly after we found her dipping her paw into a tall glass with a bit of milk at the bottom. It was really cute until we thought about how long this may have gone on without our knowledge, and how well I kept the litter box clean.

Now I'm married and Neko is part of the family. Precisely the part that throws up on the floor directly in the path to my shower in the morning. I'm happy to have the cat here, it teaches the children caring for those who can't care for themselves, and the dangers of eating too much. Neko the "living sausage" cat causes me worry though. I love my children, and wish them no harm or pain in their life. Both are inevitable, but I still recoil at the thought. Then seeing how much they love that damn furry meatball with legs and a tail I'm worried that they will be upset when she dies.

I'm an optimist.

I must explain that I do not have, nor have any desire, to have a dog. My yard does not have a fence, I don't want one. I've seen what dogs do to peoples lives. A dog is like having a toddler around. You can't leave it alone without someone to watch it, it always wants your attention, it makes too much noise, and has the nasty habit of jumping on your most private of parts.

A cat on the other hand is like having a college student. They will steal food from your table and counter, they keep to themselves, they don't want you or need you unless it really suits them, they sleep all hours of the day; you get the picture.

Now we have a new addition to the family. A fish. We received it by being the last to leave our table at a wedding, and the fish in a small bowl was the centrepiece. I decided it would be a good token to teach the children the cycle of birth, life, death and flushing. I forgot that one cardinal rule of pets:

They cost way more than they are worth BEFORE you have them in your home!

Had I thought about an aquarium, rocks, miniature castles, food, nets and all the trouble and cost of having a fish and cat at the same time, I would have passed. Instead now I have a fish named "Sally" (I suggested Han) who is going to eat up my budget for going to see "Indiana Jones" through periphery expenses.

I should go, my wife just announced an evening game of "find the turd" by saying "It smells like cat poop in this room." Ahhh, how boring life would be without pets.