What's your "best-kept secret" ;)

On occasion I find myself reading the headlines and subtexts of magazine covers. Most times they are disgusting from their overt gossip or obsessive stories. I normally quit after 4 pages (double side) or when the cashier asks if I want to pay $7 for the filth.

What amazes me is how often the "best-kept secrets" are let out to national publications. Now pardon me for being literal, but aren't the "best-kept beauty secrets of Cleopatra" still in fact, secret? Wouldn't a better, albeit less catchy, title be "better-kept secrets than the last batch"?

This rant was inspired by a magazine that arrived at our house. It is apparently postured for Women. I know this because it has over sized text in hot pink and white with the catch phrases and words: "Fresh", "Sexy", "Makeup" "His bad habits" and "Perfect pedi pointers"

I say apparently because it's hard to say who the ads (and some articles) are meant for. Most ads are discreet, but noticeable with women having nothing covering their shoulders and a look that says I'm made of chocolate éclairs or else Fabio is standing right behind me. I would expect that to be better aimed at say, men. This is funny because the ads in Sports Illustrated (normal editions) are mostly for BIG TRUCKS!

Gee, it's like some of these publishers and advertisers are run by groups of cigar smoking fat men in pinstripe suits saying: "You know what make women buy makeup? Other women with makeup on and nothing else. Works for me. That and big trucks. Now pass the Powerpuff Pink Mascara, mine's running."

If I ever start a magazine, I'll be truthful. Judging from what I've gleaned so far, I think I can encapsulate their messages in this title: "You're not good enough as you are" tm

Catchy, eh?

Gotta go, my wife just found my Sea Salt & Lime Nachos...