Who are you VS Who you are

Identity: (5) The sense of self, providing sameness and continuity in personality over time and sometimes disturbed in mental illnesses, as schizophrenia.

Isn't it funny that in contemporary English the question "Who Are You" is not equivocal to the statement "Who you are". In fact it is normally confused with the question "What is your name"

In ancient times the 'name' of a person would consist of the whole of the person, their acts and reputation. Now days it reflects on the social leanings of one's parents, as in:

You: Who are you?
Them: My name is "Sunflower Daisy Starstruck".
You: Were your parent's hippies?
Them: WHOOOAH, are you psychic?

When we try to define who we are that is a complex undertaking. We don't see ourselves in a vacuum. If we could our thoughts would be akin to "Good heavens I can't breathe... aaarrrgh". I say thoughts because in a vacuum no one can hear you scream, normally because the motor is too loud.

Our 'identity' is interpreted by how others perceive us, but this is a shifting thing too. For example, in my office I am identified as "Ken the geek". This changes when I am at a convention for geeks. Then I am "Ken the guy who double dipped in the guacamole".

So when I have the benefit of insight from a complete stranger I tend to consider it. After all, they don't have the usual context to compare me against. It is like an empirically pure, uninfluenced perception into my soul.

I change buses at the bus station each day. Being cold I often go inside the heated shelter to wait. And one of the people who commonly waits there is someone I'll refer to as "Ed".

Ed is a big guy. He is about 6'5", around 300 pounds. He wears a toque most of the year, and his glasses are something out of a 1970's police show. He is also someone you would define as 'challenged'.

Ed is gentle and sweet, and in appearance and intonation reminds me of "Lenny" from "Of Mice and Men". I say "hi" to Ed almost every day. He never replies.

It would be easier to take if he didn't go out of his way to talk to every woman present. He'll call out "Hi Lady" until he get's a response. Then some small talk will ensue. In 10 years of riding the bus I think he's given me the time of day once, and one weather report.

And then, this week for the first time he addressed me. Without knowing my name I expected him to call out "Hi Man", but he gave me one of those unique, profound revelations into how the world perceives me.

He yelled "Hey short guy!"

The saddest bit to me was there was no question who this gentle giant was talking to. I engaged in some conversation, but I was too embarrassed to be witty.

That may be a new nickname for me on the bus, but it isn't who I am. Except to Ed.