It's better if you don't mean to.

It's ironic to me how the greatest moments seem to happen by accident.

In the case of Stanislav Petrov it just so happened that a calm, level headed individual was manning the early warning room in the USSR when a computer reported that WWIII had started. Apparently he was so underwhelmed with his performance that he didn't even tell his later wife that he had saved the world.

2 summers ago we were staying at my older sister's farm. My younger sister and her son were in the tent trailer between the 5th wheel we were in and our older sister's house.

I was already in bed, my sisters had decided to stay up a bit longer and visit in the house. As I settled in the darkness my wife said "Do you here someone crying?" Sure enough my sister's son was upset, and Mommy wasn't right there.

Being a good uncle I made sure my loins were girt and then dashed to the house. I figured I would be little comfort to the little guy as he didn't know me that well yet. I saved time going through the two side doors and ran to the front window, where I could clearly see them still visiting in the living room.

Then they both screamed. And jumped. And screamed again.

In my haste I had run to the picture window and gestured to my sister, intending her to take that as "come out and check on your child." What my sisters saw was the disembodied torso of someone motioning at them out of the blackness of the lonely prairie night.

My poor brother in law had it the worst. He got to watch his wife and sister in law spontaneously switch into fits of hysteria, but when he turned I'd already moved away from the window. The family repute sure took a hit then.

So my best scaring of my sisters was completely innocent. Really.

The other day I wanted to re-program my joysticks. It was Sunday afternoon and the kids were supposedly resting in their beds. They were quiet, which really is all I can ever hope for.

I strode into the bedroom to fetch said simulated flying apparatuses. I keep them in the nightstand beside the bed in case I have a nightmare where I need to land an aircraft.

The bed is about 3 feet from the far wall, lined up so I have to walk around the foot of the bed to get to the table on the far side. I stepped through the array of stuffed animals and clothes which cover my house like leaves in the fall.

As I turned the corner of the bed I noticed the most lifelike, life sized doll I had ever seen. It was lying beside the bed, pushed up against the box that the bed sits on. Surrounding it were other stuffed animals and less realistic dolls.

As I tried to grasp how such a toy could have been brought into the house, and why it was left there, it's eyes opened and it said "Hi Daddy."

And I screamed. And jumped. And then screamed again.

My younger daughter had decided to hide there. The child who finds it impossible to sit still at the dinner table, or at a movie, or in the car, could lie still and silent for 20 minutes on my bedroom floor.

I don't think her intention was to shorten my lifespan, but she soon wore the grin of someone who had been given the present they had longed for but was incapable of describing.

In a karma sort of way I had it coming. Still I doubt my younger daughter will let this go. My OCD has now increased as I find it necessary to check around corners for creepy children lying down waiting for me. I think a mirror to see around corners will be added to the nightstand now.